We do standups to remember who's still here.
We're building a community of confused users.
We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.
Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.
We're agile: we run in circles, fast.
Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.
We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.
Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.
We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.
Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.
Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.
Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.
We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.
We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.
Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.
Startup Life
Startup life is hard. Let's laugh about it while we still have some runway.
