We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.