We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

We have more decks than users.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.