Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We have more decks than users.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.