We have more funding rounds than customers.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

We have more decks than users.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.