Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.