We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

Our users love us. Both of them.