We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We have more decks than users.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.