We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.