Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.