We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.