We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We're building a community of confused users.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.