95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We have more funding rounds than customers.