We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We have more decks than users.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.