We're building a community of confused users.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We have more decks than users.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.