Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...