We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We have more decks than users.