Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We're building a community of confused users.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We have more decks than users.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.