We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.