We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We're building a community of confused users.