Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We have more decks than users.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.