We have more funding rounds than customers.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.