We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We have more decks than users.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.