Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We have more decks than users.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.