We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We have more decks than users.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.