We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We have more decks than users.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.