We're building a community of confused users.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.