We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We have more funding rounds than customers.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round