Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.