Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We're building a community of confused users.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.