We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We're building a community of confused users.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.