Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We're building a community of confused users.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.