Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We have more decks than users.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.