After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.