We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We have more funding rounds than customers.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our users love us. Both of them.