We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.