Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We have more decks than users.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.