Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We have more decks than users.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.