Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We have more decks than users.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We do standups to remember who's still here.

We're building a community of confused users.