We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We're building a community of confused users.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.