Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.