We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.