We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.