We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.