After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.