We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We have more decks than users.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

Our users love us. Both of them.