We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.