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Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We're building a community of confused users.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our users love us. Both of them.

Startup Life

Startup life is hard. Let's laugh about it while we still have some runway.

Pomodoro timer
Pomodoro timer
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Standing Desk
Standing Desk
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