We're agile: we run in circles, fast.

Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.

We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.