Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.
After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.
Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.
We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.
We don’t have users, we have survivors.
We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.
We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.
Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.
We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.
We have more funding rounds than customers.
We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.
We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.
Our app does one thing well: crash.
We were profitable once — in a simulation.
We pivot so often our GPS gave up.
Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.
Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.
We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.
We have more decks than users.
We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round
Startup Life
Startup life is hard. Let's laugh about it while we still have some runway.
