We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.
Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.
Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.
We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.
We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round
We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.
Our KPI is just how many times we say 'synergy' in meetings.
We have more decks than users.
Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.
Our CEO has one superpower. LinkedIn posts.
We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.
We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.
We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.
95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.
We pivot so often our GPS gave up.
We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.
Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.
Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.
Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.
We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.
Startup Life
Startup life is hard. Let's laugh about it while we still have some runway.
