We do standups to remember who's still here.

We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

95% of our valuation comes from our domain name.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

We pitched to 50 VCs. 52 said no.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We're building a community of confused users.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

We have a unicorn valuation and hamster execution.

We pivot so often our GPS gave up.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We have 51 microservices, 10 database, 3 domain names. And 2 users.