Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.
After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.
Our mothers don't understand any sentence in our pitch deck. Neither does our team.
We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.
We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.
We were profitable once — in a simulation.
We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.
We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.
Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.
We don’t have users, we have survivors.
We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.
We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.
Our product solves a problem no one has, at a price no one can afford.
We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.
We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.
Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.
We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.
We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.
We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.
Our most active user is a bot we forgot to disable.
Startup Life
Startup life is hard. Let's laugh about it while we still have some runway.
