We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We got an acquisition offer! For our domain name.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

Our business plan is just 'AI' written 37 times.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We were profitable once — in a simulation.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.

We raised a pre-seed round. We now have enough funds to build our pitch deck for the seed round

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

Our app does one thing well: crash.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We have one strikingly growing KPI. Our churn rate.

Our exit strategy is getting acquired for our office chairs.