We got accepted into an accelerator. Now we burn money faster.

We're D2C: Desperate to Convert.

We're building a community of confused users.

After many months of hard work, we finally reached product-market confusion.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

Our go-to-market strategy is hope. And prayers.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

We pivoted so much our AI startup became a lemonade stand.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We have an amazing retention. We removed the unsubscribe button.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

We are fully bootstrapped. Mostly because nobody wants to fund us.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

Our MRR stands for 'Mostly Rhetorical Revenue'.