We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.
We reached a hockey stick growth. Of our AWS costs.
We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.
We outsource everything. Particularly, accountability.
We have 14 daily users. And 20 employees...
Our founder thinks JavaScript is a coffee order.
Our app does one thing well: crash.
We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.
We're agile: we run in circles, fast.
We were profitable once — in a simulation.
Our users love us. Both of them.
We reached a one billion dollars valuation. In Zimbabwean dollars.
We spent 3 months on logo, 3 minutes on product.
We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.
Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.
Startup Life
Startup life is hard. Let's laugh about it while we still have some runway.
