We pivoted so much that we developed the same product twice.

We spent all our pre-seed on hoodies.

Our north star KPI is the percentage of buzzwords in our pitch deck.

We found the perfect product-market fit. Our product is inexistent, and so is our market.

Our users love us. Both of them.

We pivot so often our product has motion sickness.

We don’t have users, we have survivors.

We're agile, mostly in our ability to find new excuses.

Our tech debt is so big it now has interests.

We're in pre-pivot stealth beta alpha.

Our growth hack was changing fonts and praying.

We’re not in stealth mode, just too behind to be seen.

We were cashflow positive until someone asked what that meant.

We have more funding rounds than customers.

Our roadmap is a series of panic attacks with deadlines.

Our users loved the product… until they realized it wasn’t free.

We A/B tested our landing page. Both versions failed.

Our unique selling point is our creative use of Powerpoint effects.

We raised a seed round. Now we can afford chairs.

We pivoted from a failed startup into a podcast about it.