We have passionate early adopters. We just wish there were more than three.

We are in stealth mode. Nobody can see our product. Not even us.

We grew 200% in one month. We went from 3 to 9 users.

We added blockchain to our product. No one knows why, but our investors smiled.

We did 100 customer interviews. They all asked if we were a scam.

Our business model is so disruptive nobody actually understands it.

We have an international user base. 8 friends from our town and a random Indian guy.

We launched on Reddit. Got feedback. Now we’re pivoting to alpaca rentals.

We hired a growth hacker. He grew a tomato plant on his desk.

Our business model is simple. We feed our engineers free pizza, they write code, and the code generates dollars.