Our business model is so disruptive nobody actually understands it.

We have passionate early adopters. We just wish there were more than three.

We added blockchain to our product. No one knows why, but our investors smiled.

Our business model is simple. We feed our engineers free pizza, they write code, and the code generates dollars.

We launched on Reddit. Got feedback. Now we’re pivoting to alpaca rentals.

We did 100 customer interviews. They all asked if we were a scam.

We hired a growth hacker. He grew a tomato plant on his desk.

We grew 200% in one month. We went from 3 to 9 users.

We have an international user base. 8 friends from our town and a random Indian guy.

We are in stealth mode. Nobody can see our product. Not even us.